Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
