i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize