Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
