Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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