so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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