..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize