someone get that fucking seahorse.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
