I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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