I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We left an ass print on the piano.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize