wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
