I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Randomize
