is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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