Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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