remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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