Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
