you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
