I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
