It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
