I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
