Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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