It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
