How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
