R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
