Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize