Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize