so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
