nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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