New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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