Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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