Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
