wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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