YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
