just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
