So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
