If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize