im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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