You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
