Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
