The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
