Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize
