haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize