I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
