wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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