i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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