Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
