Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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