You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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