He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
