I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
