I'm pants shitting drunk right now
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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