We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
