remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
