just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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