good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
tell me about the eggs
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