Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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