Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
