My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
